I thank God for the confidence that I have because it has helped me feel secure in who I am and has opened doors of opportunity in my life. Gaining confidence isn’t the easiest thing to achieve especially if you are an introvert and like to keep to yourself. However; I believe there are steps you can take to achieving the confidence level you want.
Start by Greeting Others First
It may sound odd but going out of your way to say hello to someone first can help increase your confidence and self-esteem. By saying hello or smiling at people first it breaks down barriers in the introduction stage. By simply saying hello, how are you and how was your day can brighten that persons day. Asking these questions can help you to develop friendships.
We live in a society where it is unorthodox for people to say hello to each other; and everyone has a resting bitch face. Personally I feel that there is nothing more unattractive than someone who looks unapproachable. It is important to remember that no matter how attractive you are, your personality can destroy your beauty. Make the first live and say hello to someone new. It may be your first day or College/University or you may be in a Club or at a Bar; it is nice to be nice.
There might be circumstances where you may not be able to say hello or make conversation but smiling also makes a difference. The more people you speak to the easier it gets.
Learn to care about your opinion more than others
The main reason why people lack confidence is because they are afraid of what of other people will think. What you need to remember is not everyone will like you, regardless of whether you have offended them or not. There are people who may not like you because you have something they want/lack. Living your life to please other people will only get you so far because there are only so many people you can satisfy. If there is something you want to do or a career you want to pursue; just know that in this life not everyone will like you and that is okay. Promote yourself until you reach your level of success.
Surround Yourself with Likeminded and Supportive People
Surrounding yourself with friends who have similar views can help increase your confidence. Likeminded friends will agree with the decisions you make and will also agree on a moral aspect. Friends can be very supportive and also encourage you to try new things. The people you surround yourself with is important because they can influence your mood, your self esteem and your behaviour.
Friends are a representation of who you are so it is important to take the time to remove people that you feel are pessimistic, lower your self esteem or belittle you. It is also important to surround yourself with people who make you feel welcome at all times and comfortable. There is nothing worse than feeling left out or unheard within your friendship group. This can cause you to feel unwanted, making you speak less because you may feel your opinion isn’t valued.
Friends can be beneficial but can also be very destructive. It is important to set boundaries and stick by them; because there is a difference between pushing out of your comfort zone, and feeling completely uncomfortable. Do not ever compromise your morals or beliefs for the purpose of a “friendship”.
Indulge in Different Hobbies and Interests
Working in part time retail not only helps with your confidence but contributes to improving your communication. Working in retail means having to communicate with customers on a daily basis. This can help you to build your confidence when speaking to people; this also allows you to work on your approach. Maybe the first time you spoke to a customer you felt uncomfortable; as you continue to work you can try different technics that makes you feel comfortable. This may be by initiating conversation with both customers and colleagues; asking about their day and developing a positive relationship with colleagues and regular customers.
Also; involving yourself in different hobbies means being forced to talk to new people. It may sound like you are under a lot of pressure but it is not that bad. Joining a society or joining a hobby means you will be participating in something you enjoy; making you feel a little more comfortable and at ease. This gives you a chance to make friends and initiate conversation. Initiating conversation with people whilst participating in different hobbies is a little easier because you have similar interests; giving you a topic of discussion.
What you need to remember is that although it may seem difficult in the beginning; it gets easier overtime. Asking questions, pursuing your dreams and speaking your mind is the outcome of trying to increase your confidence. Once you learn to love and care about yourself more than the opinions of others it changes your mentality. Once you hold yourself to a certain standard; you start to think if I do this what is the worst that could happen. For me I choose to be confident because I know what I want and my actions are the only way I will achieve what I want.
I hope this post motivates you to live a confident life.
No matter what happens keep trying.
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